Neeusak

I wiggle out from under my blanket And whisper, "are you there?" When no one answered back That signals my starting flare. I Google my desires And it promptly pulls it up. My heart is racing fast And my phone screen all lit up. Straining and paining I keep it up right now My right hand aches a lot And I wonder why and how. What is this relaxation, What is this dark sensation? Soft and exhausted, Sore with manipulation. I draw in a long deep breath Then slowly let it out I hate this and I love this I want to die and shout. I try not to feel the aftermath The discomfort and the claim Of happiness and pleasure And that it's all just t

All my life I've always hidden what I really am, for what I really stand, And the diseases that I am ridden Every night to lie in bed crying, trying to think dying, dancing on the brink of the realms of the living, and the dead. Love is hate, and hate is mercy condemnation is a blessing and prosperity is enstressing kindness depends on what anger sees. Gunshots ringing in my skull killing in only spite channeling all my might falling asleep too the bloody lull Figures dancing across my sight ignorantly brandishing murder wicked takers, soul herders haughty brawlers in a never-ending fight. Secrets swirl around my feet forming acrimonious